YOU'RE TOTALLY ALLOWED TO HATE ME I'M SO SORRY

I am the worst person in the world. I know I am. Please don't hate me,


I swear I will make it up to you <3 So remember last time I had this whole thing about "I don't know if I'll be able to live up to the exciting standard set before" blah blah blah... Well, I'm about to make it even more difficult for myself. Yes, I said it ;)

I'm just going to jump right in here, no hesitation, just going for it. Okay, I met Troye Sivan at the Spud 2 INTERNATIONAL premiere. Right, well there you have it. Nice talking to you guys again.

That's cute, you thought you could get rid of me that easily. IT'S STORY TIME CHILDREN! *arcade music* Here's how my entire life was made in one evening on Thursday the 13th of June 2013.

I lied, I can't just jump right in and start telling you the story, because there's a history to be explained first.
So, the Spud series is a quadrilogy written by South African author John Van De Ruit. The first book was published in 2005. My father bought the first book in about 2006-ish. The second book (The Madness Continues) was published in 2007 and it was bought by my dad that year, and he and my mum agreed to let me read them (it being such a hot topic in our house at the time) and I was ecstatic. Probably still too young to be reading things like that logically, I was fairly mature and an avid reader and I promptly started reading and rereading the books, still highly confused about what some of the 'terminology' meant, I daren't ask out of sheer embarrassment, so I rather just went about my 11 year old life.

The third book came out in 2009 and I was smart enough to save up for this one myself! I had kept a c
voucher that I had received for my birthday in December for long enough to be able to get in june when it was released. I was hopelessly hooked on the books, characters and writing style at a measly age of 12. When the movie was announced, it felt like it was a personal gift from John Van De Ruit that it would be released 6 days before my 13th birthday. I watched the movie in theaters 3 times, watched it out of theaters countless times. Obviously at that time being old enough to understand everything finally. Sometimes, to this day, I still wonder what the hell my parents were thinking letting me read that at such a young age, but I'm eternally grateful. Okay, I'm getting longwinded here, blah blah blah, the fourth book gets released last year. I read it and cry because it's over and then have a long conversation with John Van De Ruit on twitter about how we're going to cry together because we're going to miss Spud and it's our lives etc etc, no biggie not like we're besties or anything. But seriously, I had an hour long conversation with the author of my all time favourite books, why would I have freaked out?§&%
Now, also last year THEY FILMED SPUD 2. Which is pretty cool. No, stop lying, IT'S AMAZING.
Troye Si-perfect-i-mean-van also started a YouTube channel. Do you see where this is going. Now, being a die-hard potato (I JUST CAME UP WITH THAT RIGHT NOW DO YOU GET IT IT'S SPUD FANS BECAUSE SPUDS ARE POTATOES HAHAHAHA it's really not that funny but I'm tired) I have obviously been fangirling over Troye just as long as I've been a Spud fan... When Troye went to PlayList live earlier and met all the British and American YouTubers, he obviously exploded onto an international fanbase and it wasn't the few little fangirls from South Africa and Australia left. We had a group conference, formed a prayer circle for each other to stay strong while our little Troye explores foreign waters and went back to feeding our pet lions and grooming our kangaroos. Troyeblemakers were now a thing.

I sound like a rambling fool, but this is all vital information to prove my point of "BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE". It is important to realise that Troye used to follow me on Twitter but then Beyonce became too big and unfollowed everyone and went all diva on us. I'M TOTALLY (NOT) KIDDING. P.S. I cried when he unfollowed me. Umm.. yeah.

Now to the year 2013 finallyyy. Summary, Troye's now a big shot and I'm still a fangirl. Cool, sorted.
Troye has been talking a lot about Spud 2 and it's all very exciting because it's a giant leap forward in his career and all those marvellous things.

IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER AND NOTE RIGHT NOW:

• I have read the Spud book 7+ times EACH to date.
• Sven (AKA Rambo), Josh (AKA Mad Dog) and Travis (AKA Boggo) all follow me on Twitter
• I'm really not as creepy as I seem
• Even if I am, I prefer the term 'passionate' thank you very much
• I'm now 15 and this is not quite as weird
• HOLY CRAP I'M 15
• I'm so old
• I'm going to get wrinkles before I find love

Blessiiiiiinnggg (Fatty, but I feel rude saying that)

• Now, this one is important: Troye's mum went to school with my best friend's mum

Alright, on the weekend of 8 and 9 June I tried ridiculously hard to get my parents to let me go to the Pre-Screening of Spud 2, the catch being, it was on Wednesday the 12th in a city an hour away by car and I had an exam the next day. An art exam at that. I had been making plans with my other best friend (Taryn) to go and watch it and we were just trying to find ways and means of getting there. -- Ta, if you're reading this, it's also an apology to you for being poo -- My parents (I thank them for it now, but at the time I was less than impressed) said no without hesitation, and I won't lie, I thought I would never forgive them. I was (maybe still am idk dnt judge me im just a human ok lev meh alne) positive I was in love with Troye and I was going to arrive and be stupid and make le jokies and like that we'd be in love and getting married and live happily 5-ever after. Don't pretend you don't know where I'm coming from okay, we've all had it. 

The picture from Taryn

But, Ta was still going, without me. And we've always been Spud buddies, we watched the movie together, I leant her my books, we're Spud buddies thats how it works. I was fuming, seething and possibly foaming. I couldn't believe she was going without me. I figured it was probably fair because I met Jack and Finn without her and all that so maybe she was entitled to go. On all honesty, that was only what I started thinking the next day. That night I lay on my bed shaking with anger and sadness. I had been crying for a large portion of the evening and I was a wreck. I couldn't talk to Ta because her phone wasn't working, but I was seeing her status updates and it felt like every letter was another paper cut on my heart. (I KNOW, I'M THIS DRAMATIC ABOUT A MOVIE SRSLY KAREN GROW UP) We didn't talk at all on Wednesday night and I think that was a blessing and a curse, I think I would have thoroughly messed up our friendship if I'd been able to tell her exactly what I was thinking, how angry I was that she was meeting my idols without me and seeing our movie without me and before me. I would have messed it up heavily. I also wish I'd been strong enough to tell her I love her, that she must enjoy her evening and don't tell me any spoilers before I go see it. When Taryn and I spoke again on Thursday morning I avoided the topic of the movie with a ten foot pole. Then I got the dreaded Facebook notification and I'd been tagged in a picture with Troye holding a picture that said "Hi Karen" next to Taryn. It took every bit of courage and sanity I had in me not to throw my phone at a wall while running to Ta's house to hug her and hurl abuse at her all at once. She'd half made my dreams come true, and I know they were her dreams too, but I'm a selfish, emotional teenage girl don't judge me. We started speaking before I went to write my exam at 11:45 and suddenly I was getting messages from her like it was my birthday and I didn't even have to consider forgiving her, it just came naturally, like I was never angry in the first place. The Spud Movie page on Twitter was giving away 2 tickets to the International Premiere of Spud, with all the big names, red carpet, the works. I was so adamant to win, I convinced my mum to log onto my Twitter at work and spam them with entries. She then convinced my sister to do the same. I was more than just a little bit obsessed and I went in to write my exam in the full belief that I was going to win. The competition ended at 12 and my exam only ended at 13:30. When I came out of my exam I galloped to the library at school (where my mum works) and logged onto Twitter, The Spud Movie website, NuMetro and Sterkinekor websites and Google maps to find out where, when, how, how much and how far for the premiere. Basically, I didn't win, the movie website was last updated before the first movie premiered and the cinema's pages said nothing except for one little line on the NuMetro page that said it was by invitation only and there were ten tickets available each day for each cinema, first come first serve. I emailed them but I never even got a response. 

With Tom (Vern)

I'M SORRY THIS IS TAKING SO LONG BUT IT'S WORTH IT I SWEAR AND I LOVE YOU. 

When I got home, I was sitting nomming my homemade chicken deliciousness when Ta started messaging me like a madwoman again and told me to go turn the radio on to 5FM (a popular South African radio station) because they were interviewing Troye and John. I did, naturally, and read through my science study notes during the interview, the whole time my phone was next to me dialing the studio number to try and speak to Troye and potentially try and wangle some tickets out of them. HALF AN HOUR later, I was still waiting and as they ended the interview and said they'd be giving two free tickets away off air to a caller, I got cut off. Needless to say, I was fuming but adamant that now it was personal and I was going to go to that premiere even if it was just to see the cast from a distance. I hastily started bombarding my social media with statuses asking people if anyone could give me a lift to Monte Casino (where the premiere was bring held) and I got a few offers but when I went and spoke to my parents they erupted (fairly so, but gimme a break) after a few tears, outfit changes and  bedroom door slamming, it was agreed that they would take me, wait for me to see some people, get some stuff signed maybe and we'd leave promptly after. I don't think I've ever been that close to crying, wetting myself and twerking simultaneously in my life before. 

Snazzy Tickets

 When we arrived we walked down towards the cinema and were shocked with what we saw. Queues of people for  good 4 meters out the door, all dressed very smartly, with fancy shoes and perfect make-up. I felt a bit underdressed in my Uggs, skinny jeans and nude jersey with a black scarf. Anyway, we hung around quite suspiciously for a while, earning a few dirty looks from official looking people and the suspicious smile from ladies wearing far too little for the cold South African winters' evening to be honest. We hung about for a good half an hour, I'm sure I closely resembled a meerkat the way i kept jerking my head around from one point to the other trying to spot any familiar faces from my tv screen. We then decided the little lounge aread at the back of the building was our best bet and we hung around there for a while, not entirely sure what we were doing. I had my hands glued to the refresh button on Sven Ruygrok's twitter feed, waiting for any indication of their arrival, when Lynx (my amazing sister) shoved my shoulder and started dragging me forward by my wrist towards the door as she'd just spotted Josh, Byron, Genna and Alex (cast members, LOOK THEM UP THEY'RE PERFECT) walking towards the entrance. We were a split second too late and arrived at the door just as they walked into the sectioned off, red carpeted area. I was slowly giving up hope, though still scanning the area like a distressed squirrel when I saw 4 boys standing at the top of the corridor and started making inhuman noises and I'm fairly certain I may have punched my sister in the process. I was being very shy and didn't want to be an impostor when my sister reminded me that that was why we were there and I should go speak to them now or never. When I started speaking to them I lost the ability to use my legs and knees and voice and brain and started rambling like only I can. Once again (like meeting Jack and Finn, because I decided they TOTALLY care) I told them why i couldn't meet them the previous night, about my exams, and that I had to write art and then I had science the next day and then I rambled more about pointless stuff like how long I've been a fan for, the popcorn box I had in my room from Spud 1 for two years, etc. I remembered why we were there and got them to sign my book, got pictures with each one individually and then said goodbye and started walking back to the movie entrance in the hopes of finding Troye soon. My sister, still fully functional was walking normally but I walked back teary eyed, quivering and clutching my signed book to my face (I'm such a noob) and, naturally, my knees forgot how to work like knees too so I had the joy of swagging my way back to the entrance with non-functional knees and legs made entirely out of jelly.

Sven (Rambo)

If you've done any amount of research (stalking) like I have, you will be aware of the fact that the producer of the movie is Mr Brad Logan. So, now that you know this you will understand the magnitude of what I'm about to say; BRAD LOGAN WALKED UP TO MY SISTER AND I AND HE GAVE US TICKETS TO SEE SPUD 2 AT THE PREMIERE. NOT JUST NORMAL TICKETS, FANCY TICKETS THAT YOU WEAR LIKE A BRACELET WITH SERIAL NUMBERS AND STUFF. I don't think I've ever internally sobbed so hard in my life. We were officially going to the premiere.

I feel like my writing has deteriorated along with my mental health and train of thought, so this next bitty might be a bitty iffy but forgivyy meeffy?

THE PAGE OF AWESOMENESS IN THE BOOK OF AWESOMENESS

Travis! (Boggo)

Okaaay, so we hung around for a while, of course I was being as casual as usual because I'm the definition of swag with flushed cheeks, sleeve rolled up just the right amount to show off my ticket without freezing to death, clutching my book, scanning the surroundings for Troye like a skittish fruit fly. The movie was scheduled to start at 8pm and at about 7:50 the bigshots started to arrive; directors, producers, make-up artists, John Cleese, you know the usual (I KNOW XD) When John Van De Ruit arrived, I managed to sneak in between his posy and him and he signed my book too! <3
Remember kids, Troye and Beyonce are the same person, so he had to arrive fashionably late, because WWBD? (What would Beyonce do)
Troye, the sneaky little minx, was second last to arrive (just before Cleese dog) so not many people got to meet him. Not many people have sisters as smart as I do either. She pointed out that he would arrive late to speak to journalists and take photos etc, so he would be there last and not to panic. We saw one girl squeal and start running we both started marching for the top of the corridor without even saying a word to each other.

And there he was, in all his 173cm, suit-clad cologne doused glory. Troye Mellet (AKA Troye Sivan, not that I've researched the daylights out of him and his family history or anything. P.S. He's Jewish.)

I'm not entirely sure how I managed to keep my composure and not turn into a twitching pile of nerves on the floor, but I did. I went and spoke to him, got a very intimidating glare from the lady accompanying him for taking too long. I don't even care if I sound boring but I'm going to go into elaborate detail now :)

Lippy Licky

I walked up to him and the lady (Head of NuMetro South Africa, I heard later on) said "With pleasure, but please keep it short" and stepped aside after thoroughly eyeing me out. I starting mumbling and fumbling and telling him how much I love him and carrying on about how excited I was and how huge a fan I am and being annoying (I'm sorry)

He somehow remained level-headed in my presence, what a saint (I'm totally not being super sarcastic right now) and asked if he should sign my book, obvs i rpld no cuz wut a creep lyk srsly y wuz he evn thre. HE SIGNED A WINKY FACE AND A HEART OMG. Anyhoodling noodle poodle, he then asked if we should take a picture and we stood next to each other, arms wrapped around each-other's waists AND HE STARTED RUBBING MY BACK BECAUSE I WAS SHAKING SO BADLY. I could not even deal with it. No, no, no wait, it gets better! So the first photo was awkwardly timed and he was busy licking his lips, so he objected and asked for a retake, what a cutie. I died. Anyway, after the lip licking scenario, the camera wouldn't focus in the dim light so we stood like that until the camera started working again. After the photo, he slid his hand down to the small of my back and stood talking to me with his hand there, then said goodbye and gave me a hug and only then did he move his hand. DO NOT TELL ME THIS IS OKAY BECAUSE IT'S SO NOT. Before he left though, I may or may not have said "OH LORD YOU SMELL SO GOOD" to him (like from his Epic Rainbow Cake 3 Layer Fail video)

THE AWESOME THEATRE

Stop judging me.

Okay so then some pretty cool stuff happened. Here have a summary of it because it's getting late and this post is the size of Russia.

• My sister took the best picture of John Cleese and Troye
• John Cleese was wearing slippers
• We were told to go inside by official looking men
• We went inside and GOT FREE DRINKS 
• The chairs where the size of teenage panda bears and as comfortable as The Princess and the Pea's bed (After the pea was removed duh)
• Every chair had a free box of popcorn on it which was insane and the coolest thing ever (I repeat,  I'm such a noob)
• They did some speeches and things from a stage up front
• Sven and Travis smiled at me from the stage
• We sat in the 3rd row AKA 2 rows behind John Cleese
• The movie started, I squealed
• The movie carried on, I may or may not have cried
• I kept having to bury my face in my hands and muffle my noises because I could literally not deal
• I may or may not have whooped when the camera close-upped on Troye and he flashed a brilliant smile
• I WILL NOT GIVE YOU ANY SPOILERS BESIDES THIS ONE: Troye's baby brother Tyde (who's signature I also got hashtag just saying) is also in the movie and it's the cutest
• The movie ended, I applauded and cried
• I was an emotional wreck



ASDFGHJKL the best picture in the world

• We left the movie theatre

Now cool things happen again. 

Brad, you know THE PRODUCER, found my sister and I afterwards and said hi and we spoke about the movie and he signed my book "#1 Fans, Luv Brad" (I KNOOOOOOW!!)

We waited for Troye for a while and then decided to go back into the theatre to see if I could sneak in a word with him. This in itself was an achievement because I was later informed that everyone else was turned away by security. When we got inside we saw Troye and we waited patiently for him to finish but more admirers kept coming. I was about to give up when his mum turned to me and asked who I was waiting for. I told her I was waiting for Troye to which she replied, well, don't just stand there, took my wrist and led me to Troye to speak to him, ahead of other people. Level of not okay-ness: COMPLETELY NOT OKAY.

Tydetjie's signature

Troye looked at me and simply said "Oh hi again!" and we spoke, I told him about the damn popcorn box too (smooth, Karen) that I've been subscribed on YouTube since before 20K subs, following on twitter since before 5K followers to which he replied, "NO WAY, THANK YOU!" and whipped his phone out. (like he should be thanking me) He told me to type in my Twitter name and I told him what it was and started typing. He asked if I was a 5 Seconds of Summer fan and I said yes, but I was completely blown away that he was asking me questions and typed in "5sexondsofsummer" instead. Yes, the "x" and all. MY TWITTER NAME IS NOT 5SECONDSOFSUMMER ANYWAY, THAT'S THE OFFICIAL BAND ACCOUNT. He gave his phone back and looked at me skeptically and said "are you sure about that x?", so I laughed like a loon and fixed the "x" to a "c". That was it. He then took his phone, looked again and said "seriously?" I realized my mistake and changed the summer part to kari, but I SPELT THAT WRONG TOO and I said "5secondsofkaei"

I hate me as much as you do, trust me. He tried saying "kaei" and I gave him this "are you actually drunk right now" look when he showed me his phone AGAIN and I had to fix my mistake AGAIN and change the "e" to an "r" and blushed crimson. He promised to tweet me and I said thank you and we chatted for a bit and then people started getting impatient so he said goodbye and I swear I hugged him like 6 times during the last meeting. 

It's not like I didn't warn him, I told him I spammed him a lot, and thats exactly what I did on Friday. I spammed myself onto tweetlimit, but it was worth it. He tweeted me. He actually tweeted me, yes, I cried then too. It was amazing. If that wasn't enough, on Sunday, Sven like my Instagram photo of him and I together. 

I don't exactly know how to end this, because it's half past 11pm and I write my history exam tomorrow and I'm still emotional after all of this, but I just want to say thank you for putting up with my ramble.

LE TWEET THAT MADE ME SOB AND RUN AROUND
MY HOUSE LIKE A RABID SQUIRREL AND
SQUEAL LIKE A PIG IN LABOUR
I'm so attractive wow I'm sure Troye's
crazy about me.

I'm going to try and get Troye to read this from Twitter, so if it actually works and you read this Troye, don't think I'm creepy, please, I'm not, I'm just a die-hard and I have a lot of feelings. If you know where that's from, I love you and we're best friends. P.P.S. YOU USED TO FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AND WHEN YOU UNFOLLOWED ME I CRIED AND REFUSED TO LOG ON TO TWITTER OF A WEEK HASHTAG JUST SAYING)

I changed my Twitter handle (as you may have picked up above) (@5secondsofkari) and my tumblr. url is the same now too, Instagram remains unchanged with (@karivzyl)

All men look good in a suit, but sir, you are the cream of the crop I must say.

Okay guys, I love you, thank you for putting up with my ramble, I was going to place pictures all pretty like and artfully but it's really late so I'm just going to put them anywhere. Okay, I love you forever and you're amazing as always. Be good and safe lovelies <3 xx