YOU'RE TOTALLY ALLOWED TO HATE ME I'M SO SORRY

I am the worst person in the world. I know I am. Please don't hate me,


I swear I will make it up to you <3 So remember last time I had this whole thing about "I don't know if I'll be able to live up to the exciting standard set before" blah blah blah... Well, I'm about to make it even more difficult for myself. Yes, I said it ;)

I'm just going to jump right in here, no hesitation, just going for it. Okay, I met Troye Sivan at the Spud 2 INTERNATIONAL premiere. Right, well there you have it. Nice talking to you guys again.

That's cute, you thought you could get rid of me that easily. IT'S STORY TIME CHILDREN! *arcade music* Here's how my entire life was made in one evening on Thursday the 13th of June 2013.

I lied, I can't just jump right in and start telling you the story, because there's a history to be explained first.
So, the Spud series is a quadrilogy written by South African author John Van De Ruit. The first book was published in 2005. My father bought the first book in about 2006-ish. The second book (The Madness Continues) was published in 2007 and it was bought by my dad that year, and he and my mum agreed to let me read them (it being such a hot topic in our house at the time) and I was ecstatic. Probably still too young to be reading things like that logically, I was fairly mature and an avid reader and I promptly started reading and rereading the books, still highly confused about what some of the 'terminology' meant, I daren't ask out of sheer embarrassment, so I rather just went about my 11 year old life.

The third book came out in 2009 and I was smart enough to save up for this one myself! I had kept a c
voucher that I had received for my birthday in December for long enough to be able to get in june when it was released. I was hopelessly hooked on the books, characters and writing style at a measly age of 12. When the movie was announced, it felt like it was a personal gift from John Van De Ruit that it would be released 6 days before my 13th birthday. I watched the movie in theaters 3 times, watched it out of theaters countless times. Obviously at that time being old enough to understand everything finally. Sometimes, to this day, I still wonder what the hell my parents were thinking letting me read that at such a young age, but I'm eternally grateful. Okay, I'm getting longwinded here, blah blah blah, the fourth book gets released last year. I read it and cry because it's over and then have a long conversation with John Van De Ruit on twitter about how we're going to cry together because we're going to miss Spud and it's our lives etc etc, no biggie not like we're besties or anything. But seriously, I had an hour long conversation with the author of my all time favourite books, why would I have freaked out?§&%
Now, also last year THEY FILMED SPUD 2. Which is pretty cool. No, stop lying, IT'S AMAZING.
Troye Si-perfect-i-mean-van also started a YouTube channel. Do you see where this is going. Now, being a die-hard potato (I JUST CAME UP WITH THAT RIGHT NOW DO YOU GET IT IT'S SPUD FANS BECAUSE SPUDS ARE POTATOES HAHAHAHA it's really not that funny but I'm tired) I have obviously been fangirling over Troye just as long as I've been a Spud fan... When Troye went to PlayList live earlier and met all the British and American YouTubers, he obviously exploded onto an international fanbase and it wasn't the few little fangirls from South Africa and Australia left. We had a group conference, formed a prayer circle for each other to stay strong while our little Troye explores foreign waters and went back to feeding our pet lions and grooming our kangaroos. Troyeblemakers were now a thing.

I sound like a rambling fool, but this is all vital information to prove my point of "BEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE". It is important to realise that Troye used to follow me on Twitter but then Beyonce became too big and unfollowed everyone and went all diva on us. I'M TOTALLY (NOT) KIDDING. P.S. I cried when he unfollowed me. Umm.. yeah.

Now to the year 2013 finallyyy. Summary, Troye's now a big shot and I'm still a fangirl. Cool, sorted.
Troye has been talking a lot about Spud 2 and it's all very exciting because it's a giant leap forward in his career and all those marvellous things.

IMPORTANT THINGS TO REMEMBER AND NOTE RIGHT NOW:

• I have read the Spud book 7+ times EACH to date.
• Sven (AKA Rambo), Josh (AKA Mad Dog) and Travis (AKA Boggo) all follow me on Twitter
• I'm really not as creepy as I seem
• Even if I am, I prefer the term 'passionate' thank you very much
• I'm now 15 and this is not quite as weird
• HOLY CRAP I'M 15
• I'm so old
• I'm going to get wrinkles before I find love

Blessiiiiiinnggg (Fatty, but I feel rude saying that)

• Now, this one is important: Troye's mum went to school with my best friend's mum

Alright, on the weekend of 8 and 9 June I tried ridiculously hard to get my parents to let me go to the Pre-Screening of Spud 2, the catch being, it was on Wednesday the 12th in a city an hour away by car and I had an exam the next day. An art exam at that. I had been making plans with my other best friend (Taryn) to go and watch it and we were just trying to find ways and means of getting there. -- Ta, if you're reading this, it's also an apology to you for being poo -- My parents (I thank them for it now, but at the time I was less than impressed) said no without hesitation, and I won't lie, I thought I would never forgive them. I was (maybe still am idk dnt judge me im just a human ok lev meh alne) positive I was in love with Troye and I was going to arrive and be stupid and make le jokies and like that we'd be in love and getting married and live happily 5-ever after. Don't pretend you don't know where I'm coming from okay, we've all had it. 

The picture from Taryn

But, Ta was still going, without me. And we've always been Spud buddies, we watched the movie together, I leant her my books, we're Spud buddies thats how it works. I was fuming, seething and possibly foaming. I couldn't believe she was going without me. I figured it was probably fair because I met Jack and Finn without her and all that so maybe she was entitled to go. On all honesty, that was only what I started thinking the next day. That night I lay on my bed shaking with anger and sadness. I had been crying for a large portion of the evening and I was a wreck. I couldn't talk to Ta because her phone wasn't working, but I was seeing her status updates and it felt like every letter was another paper cut on my heart. (I KNOW, I'M THIS DRAMATIC ABOUT A MOVIE SRSLY KAREN GROW UP) We didn't talk at all on Wednesday night and I think that was a blessing and a curse, I think I would have thoroughly messed up our friendship if I'd been able to tell her exactly what I was thinking, how angry I was that she was meeting my idols without me and seeing our movie without me and before me. I would have messed it up heavily. I also wish I'd been strong enough to tell her I love her, that she must enjoy her evening and don't tell me any spoilers before I go see it. When Taryn and I spoke again on Thursday morning I avoided the topic of the movie with a ten foot pole. Then I got the dreaded Facebook notification and I'd been tagged in a picture with Troye holding a picture that said "Hi Karen" next to Taryn. It took every bit of courage and sanity I had in me not to throw my phone at a wall while running to Ta's house to hug her and hurl abuse at her all at once. She'd half made my dreams come true, and I know they were her dreams too, but I'm a selfish, emotional teenage girl don't judge me. We started speaking before I went to write my exam at 11:45 and suddenly I was getting messages from her like it was my birthday and I didn't even have to consider forgiving her, it just came naturally, like I was never angry in the first place. The Spud Movie page on Twitter was giving away 2 tickets to the International Premiere of Spud, with all the big names, red carpet, the works. I was so adamant to win, I convinced my mum to log onto my Twitter at work and spam them with entries. She then convinced my sister to do the same. I was more than just a little bit obsessed and I went in to write my exam in the full belief that I was going to win. The competition ended at 12 and my exam only ended at 13:30. When I came out of my exam I galloped to the library at school (where my mum works) and logged onto Twitter, The Spud Movie website, NuMetro and Sterkinekor websites and Google maps to find out where, when, how, how much and how far for the premiere. Basically, I didn't win, the movie website was last updated before the first movie premiered and the cinema's pages said nothing except for one little line on the NuMetro page that said it was by invitation only and there were ten tickets available each day for each cinema, first come first serve. I emailed them but I never even got a response. 

With Tom (Vern)

I'M SORRY THIS IS TAKING SO LONG BUT IT'S WORTH IT I SWEAR AND I LOVE YOU. 

When I got home, I was sitting nomming my homemade chicken deliciousness when Ta started messaging me like a madwoman again and told me to go turn the radio on to 5FM (a popular South African radio station) because they were interviewing Troye and John. I did, naturally, and read through my science study notes during the interview, the whole time my phone was next to me dialing the studio number to try and speak to Troye and potentially try and wangle some tickets out of them. HALF AN HOUR later, I was still waiting and as they ended the interview and said they'd be giving two free tickets away off air to a caller, I got cut off. Needless to say, I was fuming but adamant that now it was personal and I was going to go to that premiere even if it was just to see the cast from a distance. I hastily started bombarding my social media with statuses asking people if anyone could give me a lift to Monte Casino (where the premiere was bring held) and I got a few offers but when I went and spoke to my parents they erupted (fairly so, but gimme a break) after a few tears, outfit changes and  bedroom door slamming, it was agreed that they would take me, wait for me to see some people, get some stuff signed maybe and we'd leave promptly after. I don't think I've ever been that close to crying, wetting myself and twerking simultaneously in my life before. 

Snazzy Tickets

 When we arrived we walked down towards the cinema and were shocked with what we saw. Queues of people for  good 4 meters out the door, all dressed very smartly, with fancy shoes and perfect make-up. I felt a bit underdressed in my Uggs, skinny jeans and nude jersey with a black scarf. Anyway, we hung around quite suspiciously for a while, earning a few dirty looks from official looking people and the suspicious smile from ladies wearing far too little for the cold South African winters' evening to be honest. We hung about for a good half an hour, I'm sure I closely resembled a meerkat the way i kept jerking my head around from one point to the other trying to spot any familiar faces from my tv screen. We then decided the little lounge aread at the back of the building was our best bet and we hung around there for a while, not entirely sure what we were doing. I had my hands glued to the refresh button on Sven Ruygrok's twitter feed, waiting for any indication of their arrival, when Lynx (my amazing sister) shoved my shoulder and started dragging me forward by my wrist towards the door as she'd just spotted Josh, Byron, Genna and Alex (cast members, LOOK THEM UP THEY'RE PERFECT) walking towards the entrance. We were a split second too late and arrived at the door just as they walked into the sectioned off, red carpeted area. I was slowly giving up hope, though still scanning the area like a distressed squirrel when I saw 4 boys standing at the top of the corridor and started making inhuman noises and I'm fairly certain I may have punched my sister in the process. I was being very shy and didn't want to be an impostor when my sister reminded me that that was why we were there and I should go speak to them now or never. When I started speaking to them I lost the ability to use my legs and knees and voice and brain and started rambling like only I can. Once again (like meeting Jack and Finn, because I decided they TOTALLY care) I told them why i couldn't meet them the previous night, about my exams, and that I had to write art and then I had science the next day and then I rambled more about pointless stuff like how long I've been a fan for, the popcorn box I had in my room from Spud 1 for two years, etc. I remembered why we were there and got them to sign my book, got pictures with each one individually and then said goodbye and started walking back to the movie entrance in the hopes of finding Troye soon. My sister, still fully functional was walking normally but I walked back teary eyed, quivering and clutching my signed book to my face (I'm such a noob) and, naturally, my knees forgot how to work like knees too so I had the joy of swagging my way back to the entrance with non-functional knees and legs made entirely out of jelly.

Sven (Rambo)

If you've done any amount of research (stalking) like I have, you will be aware of the fact that the producer of the movie is Mr Brad Logan. So, now that you know this you will understand the magnitude of what I'm about to say; BRAD LOGAN WALKED UP TO MY SISTER AND I AND HE GAVE US TICKETS TO SEE SPUD 2 AT THE PREMIERE. NOT JUST NORMAL TICKETS, FANCY TICKETS THAT YOU WEAR LIKE A BRACELET WITH SERIAL NUMBERS AND STUFF. I don't think I've ever internally sobbed so hard in my life. We were officially going to the premiere.

I feel like my writing has deteriorated along with my mental health and train of thought, so this next bitty might be a bitty iffy but forgivyy meeffy?

THE PAGE OF AWESOMENESS IN THE BOOK OF AWESOMENESS

Travis! (Boggo)

Okaaay, so we hung around for a while, of course I was being as casual as usual because I'm the definition of swag with flushed cheeks, sleeve rolled up just the right amount to show off my ticket without freezing to death, clutching my book, scanning the surroundings for Troye like a skittish fruit fly. The movie was scheduled to start at 8pm and at about 7:50 the bigshots started to arrive; directors, producers, make-up artists, John Cleese, you know the usual (I KNOW XD) When John Van De Ruit arrived, I managed to sneak in between his posy and him and he signed my book too! <3
Remember kids, Troye and Beyonce are the same person, so he had to arrive fashionably late, because WWBD? (What would Beyonce do)
Troye, the sneaky little minx, was second last to arrive (just before Cleese dog) so not many people got to meet him. Not many people have sisters as smart as I do either. She pointed out that he would arrive late to speak to journalists and take photos etc, so he would be there last and not to panic. We saw one girl squeal and start running we both started marching for the top of the corridor without even saying a word to each other.

And there he was, in all his 173cm, suit-clad cologne doused glory. Troye Mellet (AKA Troye Sivan, not that I've researched the daylights out of him and his family history or anything. P.S. He's Jewish.)

I'm not entirely sure how I managed to keep my composure and not turn into a twitching pile of nerves on the floor, but I did. I went and spoke to him, got a very intimidating glare from the lady accompanying him for taking too long. I don't even care if I sound boring but I'm going to go into elaborate detail now :)

Lippy Licky

I walked up to him and the lady (Head of NuMetro South Africa, I heard later on) said "With pleasure, but please keep it short" and stepped aside after thoroughly eyeing me out. I starting mumbling and fumbling and telling him how much I love him and carrying on about how excited I was and how huge a fan I am and being annoying (I'm sorry)

He somehow remained level-headed in my presence, what a saint (I'm totally not being super sarcastic right now) and asked if he should sign my book, obvs i rpld no cuz wut a creep lyk srsly y wuz he evn thre. HE SIGNED A WINKY FACE AND A HEART OMG. Anyhoodling noodle poodle, he then asked if we should take a picture and we stood next to each other, arms wrapped around each-other's waists AND HE STARTED RUBBING MY BACK BECAUSE I WAS SHAKING SO BADLY. I could not even deal with it. No, no, no wait, it gets better! So the first photo was awkwardly timed and he was busy licking his lips, so he objected and asked for a retake, what a cutie. I died. Anyway, after the lip licking scenario, the camera wouldn't focus in the dim light so we stood like that until the camera started working again. After the photo, he slid his hand down to the small of my back and stood talking to me with his hand there, then said goodbye and gave me a hug and only then did he move his hand. DO NOT TELL ME THIS IS OKAY BECAUSE IT'S SO NOT. Before he left though, I may or may not have said "OH LORD YOU SMELL SO GOOD" to him (like from his Epic Rainbow Cake 3 Layer Fail video)

THE AWESOME THEATRE

Stop judging me.

Okay so then some pretty cool stuff happened. Here have a summary of it because it's getting late and this post is the size of Russia.

• My sister took the best picture of John Cleese and Troye
• John Cleese was wearing slippers
• We were told to go inside by official looking men
• We went inside and GOT FREE DRINKS 
• The chairs where the size of teenage panda bears and as comfortable as The Princess and the Pea's bed (After the pea was removed duh)
• Every chair had a free box of popcorn on it which was insane and the coolest thing ever (I repeat,  I'm such a noob)
• They did some speeches and things from a stage up front
• Sven and Travis smiled at me from the stage
• We sat in the 3rd row AKA 2 rows behind John Cleese
• The movie started, I squealed
• The movie carried on, I may or may not have cried
• I kept having to bury my face in my hands and muffle my noises because I could literally not deal
• I may or may not have whooped when the camera close-upped on Troye and he flashed a brilliant smile
• I WILL NOT GIVE YOU ANY SPOILERS BESIDES THIS ONE: Troye's baby brother Tyde (who's signature I also got hashtag just saying) is also in the movie and it's the cutest
• The movie ended, I applauded and cried
• I was an emotional wreck



ASDFGHJKL the best picture in the world

• We left the movie theatre

Now cool things happen again. 

Brad, you know THE PRODUCER, found my sister and I afterwards and said hi and we spoke about the movie and he signed my book "#1 Fans, Luv Brad" (I KNOOOOOOW!!)

We waited for Troye for a while and then decided to go back into the theatre to see if I could sneak in a word with him. This in itself was an achievement because I was later informed that everyone else was turned away by security. When we got inside we saw Troye and we waited patiently for him to finish but more admirers kept coming. I was about to give up when his mum turned to me and asked who I was waiting for. I told her I was waiting for Troye to which she replied, well, don't just stand there, took my wrist and led me to Troye to speak to him, ahead of other people. Level of not okay-ness: COMPLETELY NOT OKAY.

Tydetjie's signature

Troye looked at me and simply said "Oh hi again!" and we spoke, I told him about the damn popcorn box too (smooth, Karen) that I've been subscribed on YouTube since before 20K subs, following on twitter since before 5K followers to which he replied, "NO WAY, THANK YOU!" and whipped his phone out. (like he should be thanking me) He told me to type in my Twitter name and I told him what it was and started typing. He asked if I was a 5 Seconds of Summer fan and I said yes, but I was completely blown away that he was asking me questions and typed in "5sexondsofsummer" instead. Yes, the "x" and all. MY TWITTER NAME IS NOT 5SECONDSOFSUMMER ANYWAY, THAT'S THE OFFICIAL BAND ACCOUNT. He gave his phone back and looked at me skeptically and said "are you sure about that x?", so I laughed like a loon and fixed the "x" to a "c". That was it. He then took his phone, looked again and said "seriously?" I realized my mistake and changed the summer part to kari, but I SPELT THAT WRONG TOO and I said "5secondsofkaei"

I hate me as much as you do, trust me. He tried saying "kaei" and I gave him this "are you actually drunk right now" look when he showed me his phone AGAIN and I had to fix my mistake AGAIN and change the "e" to an "r" and blushed crimson. He promised to tweet me and I said thank you and we chatted for a bit and then people started getting impatient so he said goodbye and I swear I hugged him like 6 times during the last meeting. 

It's not like I didn't warn him, I told him I spammed him a lot, and thats exactly what I did on Friday. I spammed myself onto tweetlimit, but it was worth it. He tweeted me. He actually tweeted me, yes, I cried then too. It was amazing. If that wasn't enough, on Sunday, Sven like my Instagram photo of him and I together. 

I don't exactly know how to end this, because it's half past 11pm and I write my history exam tomorrow and I'm still emotional after all of this, but I just want to say thank you for putting up with my ramble.

LE TWEET THAT MADE ME SOB AND RUN AROUND
MY HOUSE LIKE A RABID SQUIRREL AND
SQUEAL LIKE A PIG IN LABOUR
I'm so attractive wow I'm sure Troye's
crazy about me.

I'm going to try and get Troye to read this from Twitter, so if it actually works and you read this Troye, don't think I'm creepy, please, I'm not, I'm just a die-hard and I have a lot of feelings. If you know where that's from, I love you and we're best friends. P.P.S. YOU USED TO FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER AND WHEN YOU UNFOLLOWED ME I CRIED AND REFUSED TO LOG ON TO TWITTER OF A WEEK HASHTAG JUST SAYING)

I changed my Twitter handle (as you may have picked up above) (@5secondsofkari) and my tumblr. url is the same now too, Instagram remains unchanged with (@karivzyl)

All men look good in a suit, but sir, you are the cream of the crop I must say.

Okay guys, I love you, thank you for putting up with my ramble, I was going to place pictures all pretty like and artfully but it's really late so I'm just going to put them anywhere. Okay, I love you forever and you're amazing as always. Be good and safe lovelies <3 xx

Facts about me :)

Hi everyone! So I haven't posted in basically two months, which is atrocious... Hashtag noh8... In short, I've been really scared to post because when I met Jack and Finn I got hundreds of pageviews, literally over two hundred which was insane, and I didn't want to come back and type another boring blog post about my life and get a whole bunch of people really excited for nothing, but I've been thinking about it a lot lately and I told myself to stop being stupid and get on with it. So here I am... I decided to give you guys some basic facts about me, because I really wanted to do this? I have also decided to film my very first YouTube video this week because I'm tired of procrastinating and I'm just going to keep putting this off until I pluck up the courage to do it. When I do have it up, I'm going to put this blog post into a video and do a "30 Facts About Me" video, yaaaay :D

Meeting Jack and Finn and not dying #winning

30 Facts About Me From Me

1) My name is Karen, I'm 15
2) I'm South African
3) Family of 4, I have an older sister
4) I have three dogs?
5) Greatest achievement: meeting Jack and Finn Harries and not dying *cheesy grin*
6) I live in Africa and I don't own a lion?
7) My nickname is Ka/Kari
8) Troye Sivan followed me and then unfollowed me on Twitter (P.S. follow me, @karivzyl)
9) I love One Direction ok judge me :)
10) I am Christian and you can think what you want about that :)
11) I have never broken a bone?
12) I am afraid of squirrels
13) I own a guitar and a keyboard and can play neither of them...
14) The first piece of make-up I bought was mascara
15) I want to study in London but I don't know what I want to study
16) My life goal is to be invited to Playlist Live

Union Jack because England

17) I am allergic to sun screen
18) My favourite colour is purple and my entire life is purple... literally everything.
19) I love frangipani flowers
20) My favourite books are the "Spud" series by John Vd Ruit
21) I am of average height and I love mango :)
22) My sister also has a blog (Lynx Says)
23) I don't like the colour orange
24) I can speak 2 languages, I used to be able to speak four but I can't speak Zulu or French anymore :(
25) I love winter but live for Summer :)
26) I prefer my iPad to my phone and would rather not have a phone than an iPad...
27) I have two ear piercings in each ear
28) I hate moths, a lot
29) I went to England and France for three weeks in 2006 :)
30) I ate a Mixed Berry Avalanche from KFC while writing these out :D

My room and my favourite possessions :) 

10 Facts About Me From My Sister (LOOK AT HER BLOG! INFO IS ABOVE [number 22])

*these aren't any of my own words*
1) I got a red belt in karate
2) My sister took me to get my second ear-piercings done in December
3) I eat ice like it's popcorn
4) I'm too lazy to make my own popcorn so my amazing sister does it for me :D
5) I'm obsessed with the British
6) When you walk out my room, the rest of the house is green in comparison to my VERY purple room
7) I have 9 cousins
8) I hate canned fruit and refuse to eat it
9) My sister makes all the things I sell for Debs and Squires *hangs head in shame*
10) My sister wishes her dog was cuter than mine. :)

Thank you for reading guys! I almost forgot something really important: I just lost the game :)

My Chinese Lantern fairy lights :D

Here are all my links to various social media websites and so on:
Twitter: @Karivzyl
Instagram: karivzyl
Tumblr... karivzyl.. Wow, you'd think I use the same username for everything....
I don't Keek yet, but when I do, that will be here too :)
WITHIN A MONTH I WILL PUT MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL HERE TOO BECAUSE I AM EXCITED I LOVE YOU OKAY.

Please don't be shy, comment, send me a message, whatever and I will reply to everyoneeeeee I promise :) thank you lovelies x

THE GAME

BYEEEEEE xx :)

FAVOURITE SWEETS EVER!

HAPPY WEEKEND EVERYONE (:

Hi everyone! Happy weekend! I hope you all had enjoyable weeks and that you're ready for the weekend to just rest and relax a little (:
I heard some of you are on holiday next week... Jealous!!

Not much happened this week, except I got super annoying with my constant going on about Jack and Finn. Sorry about that.... It's just kind of... Well I don't know how to put it, I know I have a boyfriend, and yep, maybe I shouldn't have gone on about Jack and Finn like I did, especially not in front of him.. But it was a once in a lifetime opportunity, chances are (as sad as it makes me...) I will probably never meet them again in my entire life... I fangirled for a week (maybe two I don't know) and I'll get over it, it's an obsessed teenage fangirling time in my life... I know I went on about finicky details, and stupid things like hugging and the way they smelled, and yes it was wonderful, but that doesn't mean I don't love my boyfriend, right... I'm completely in love with him but I'm allowed to fangirl, I'm allowed to have stupid obsessions because you know what, I could be obsessed with worse... So yes, I will tone it down, but I'm not going to turn it off because I'm a fan and I don't give a hoot if you hate it or not because I may not like everything you do?

So.. On that topic... Some pictures from the meeting will be below :D
Not a very exciting post this week guys, please don't take that as a sign, they'll become more interesting so please follow, comment, share etc, and please keep reading this? I literally cried when I saw I had over 100 page-views on Wednesday so it means so much to me :)

My sister has a blog called "lynxsays.blogspot.com" it's a beauty blog and she gives all sorts of tips and cheats and so on, so pleeease go check it out?
Please follow me on Instagram and Twitter (my handle/username is the same for both: @karivzyl
Or add me on Facebook : Karen van Zyl
I got an "ask.fm" account yesterday so if you're inquisitive send me a message (same handle as twitter... I think, I'll correct myself next time if I'm wrong (I don't know how it works yet,sorrrrryy)
Enjoy your weekend and be safe xx LOVE YOU xx

GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. OHMYGOSH

Hey guys!

Soo today Jack and Finn went back home to England, rigghhhht? And they were just in South Africa for the weekend but on a very rural, remote area so they didn't really do meet-ups or anything, and I couldn't get to the airport when they arrived 'cause you know... Education and stuff... buuuutt I was at the airport when they left today. We stood from 4pm until 7:30pm and nothing, absolutely nothing. I was devastated, but I was still thankful to Christina for taking me, and I couldn't expect her mom to wait forever...

And then by some miracle... As we were leaving i saw someone in a gray hoodie walking towards the boarding gates carrying some dinky little skateboard type thing... And someone holding a camera and someone walking behind in a navy blue shirt, also with a camera...

And then I made eye-contact with Jack Harries and started my fangirling session... We ran up to them and we said our hello's and we waited for Finnegan who was taking his sweet time with his smancy camera and navy blue shirt. The "small talk" (awkward umms and aahs as we're all so nervous and they're embarrassed) began and then my brain decided to shut down and I turned into a rambling oaf making myself look like a three year old with a helium balloon. I started shaking uncontrollably, like I couldn't even stand without my legs shaking... And I decided to blurt out in front of like 5/6 famous Youtubers and 4 other fans "CAN I HUG YOU OR IS THAT WEIRD" and so began my tirade of idiocy... After my extensively long hug with Jack which was awkward ('cause I could hear and feel him laughing) and innapropriate... You know, I had just turned myself into the Youtuber laughing stock and here I am not letting go of Jack for like 15 seconds... Oops? I don't really care, it was unbelievable... And he smells good. Yes, I said it, he smells amazing.
I then further continued to embarrass myself by deciding that through the crowd was the best way to get to Finn and shoved past and nearly knocked the poor man down in trying to hug him because... fangirling... Then the usual "what's your name, where you from, how old are you etc etc etc" began and I decided this meant they wanted to know my life story... So I rambled on to nobody in particular...
Then came the photos. Now we'd already taken one picture where I was next to Jack and that was great, but now I managed to get on the other side next to Finn... (No complaints here...) but I was shaking like a leaf... Which I mentioned to them on more than one occasion because my malfunctioning brain decided they cared, right...? And in trying to calm myself down I realized YOU'RE STANDING NEXT TO FINN HARRIES and then I stood quivering. Because all people start having mental breakdowns in front of celebrities right. Finn looked down at me (yes, down, he's SO tall!) and said "whoever is shaking, please stop." I GOT REPRIMANDED BY FINN HARRIES AND I DON'T EVEN MIND!! After the photo's they signed some pictures and so on, and then I showed them the drawing I did of them and now I regret it so much... They were going on about how good it was but the one face is so messed up! I'm pretty sure Finn thinks I have issues, he asked me who I thought he was (in the picture) and like the dodo I am, I decided to actually give my opinion and got it completely wrong... Double yay... We started dispersing and we said our goodbyes and I totally hugged them again.... :D
We started walking away to get something to drink after three straight hours of standing and adrenaline when we found... MAOAMS!! Now anyone who knows their videos at all, knows about their passion for Maoams.. So naturally we got two bags and ran bag to where they had congregated. As we stopped, Christina held the two bags out and handed one to Finn and one to Jack... Finn just laughed and said we were insane and Jack did the cutest little dance ever and we departed once more... Before we left my brain was like "oh, you thought I was better did you? Think again lady." AND I TURNED AROUND, MADE A LITTLE HEART WITH MY HANDS AND YELLED "BYEEE, LOVE YOU!" What. The. Heck. Brain?

I told them I loved them and walked away... I'm beginning to agree with Finn, I am delusional aren't I... While in the car on the way back I was an emotional wreck :$ I just sat Tweeting people and stuff.. And then the unbelievable happened. FINN FAVOURITED MY TWEET. The actual Finn, Finnegan Harries favourited my tweet about meeting them and the Maoams.

Yes.

Guys, I don't think it's describable what this evening meant to me, they're my role models and I was always so pessimistic about meeting them... And there I stood, hugging Jack Harries and telling Finn what my name was... This night was incredible... I don't even know what to say or how to end this off... Jack and Finn, as unlikely as it is,if you ever read this, I hope you realize the impact you made on a 15 year old girls' life tonight and that one day I might be able to meet you again and I won't be a shaking, rambling fool... Thank you for changing my life... And I yelled it in hysteria this evening, but really, I do love you boys and you have changed my life...

Please come back to South Africa one day, you impact lives that you don't even realize you impact on. We may not be your majority, or even feature in your top countries for fan-bases, but we're dedicated fans and we want to see you here again...

Thank again, we love you xx

Thanks for enduring my odd rumblings guys, all the usual please, follow, comment, add me on Facebook, follow me on Twitter, Instagram, Tumblr etc, I will follow back... Thanks guys, enjoy your week <3 love you xx

This is an informal dedication post (:

This won't happen a lot, but I feel like this is a special occasion.

Lynx, my gorgeous sister, I know you're facing some SERIOUSLY difficult things right now, but I just want today I'm so fortunate to have a sister like you. You're an incredible human being and you don't deserve any of the challenges life has thrown you, but I thank God that they were because they've shaped you into the amazing person that you are today.
Simmi, I only ever met you twice, but I know you touched my sister's life, and I am so grateful to you for that. I don't know why you did the things you did, but I pray that you are safe now and that you're happier <3 you were a beautiful girl and a role model to everyone who knew you.
Rest in peace <3

Taryn you amazing girl <3 one of my closest friends and an unbelievable inspiration to all. I know you just lost a friend, and I don't even know how to express my sympathy, to you or Lynx... It's bad enough that one person has to experience it but when two people you're so close to are experiencing the same thing... I'm lost for words <3
To everyone that knew Simmi or Yogi, I'm praying for you, for strength, courage and God's hand of healing and protection around you <3
Yogi, you were evidently a wonderful person, so many people love you and will cherish your memory forever, I never knew you but I know are with God now <3

Suicide is such a huge problem that as little as we like it, we may all have to face in our lives and that's devastating... I know of too many people, whether I've known them personally or not who have taken their lives for reasons only they will know. I promise that there IS a answer to your problems, fears and pain that doesn't involve taking your life. It is okay to not be okay, I promise.. If you feel like life isn't worth living anymore, think about the happy memories you have had, think about your future and where you could be in 10 years.. Working, a mother, a father, traveling, who knows you could even be famous! You'll never get there if you're too afraid to try, if you're too unwilling to even see tomorrow, how will you see the employment contract, your baby's face, the Eiffel Tower, your parents, friends, family, smiling as they watch you grow old and succeed... It's not the answer, things WILL get better, and at the risk of sounding like a Bible-punching preacher, God can and he will help you through it if you just ask him to. I'm not an expert at this guys, I have no history of being suicidal, but I know people who have been and I know of people that acted irrationally as a result of their emotions... Think it through... Is it really worth the pain, the effort even, the time and the pain everyone else will go through, why don't you just work through it, speak to someone, speak to me, I'm always available for anyone to speak to, I can't promise sound advice, but I can promise a shoulder, a punching bag...

Please contact me if you need to
Twitter: @Karivzyl
Facebook: Karen van Zyl
I know this was a very novice post but its such a huge thing to deal with I don't really know what else to door say <3 I love you guys and I'm always here for you. Thanks for reading my ramble <3 xx

P.S. I reply to all and any comments left below? <3 xx

ANOTHER MIDDLE OF THE WEEK POST WHAT IS THIS?!?

Hey guys!!

So I know my posting is horrifically irregular and I'm sorry for that, but I can't really help it... I just post when I think about it? Soo I hope all your weeks have been wonderful so farrrr :) this week has been a petty good one for me, finding out ,y two greatest role models and just generally hjkvsejtkvbesugfvbsgosbfhud celebrities (not really, they're Youtubers so they're only famous to the people that know them...) ARE COMING TO SOUTH AFRICA TOMORROW!!!! (Thursday in human speak...)

I know recently I was complaining about taking art and having no social life and it being so difficult blah blah blah, but GUYS I love it... It's still difficult but it's so inspiring, I didn't know I had the ability to think up concepts that make sense and even I like!! Our final project's theme is "Disclosed and Exposed" which I think is insanely cool! As soon as I decide on my idea I'll post it!
So far we've done two drawings, the other two are due on Monday *shudder* and here's a picture of the one I'm most proud of so far :)


So... From now on, on every Tuesday and Thursday morning I have to be at school by 6:15am for morning fitness for hockey... Bother... Think of me I your warm beds guys...anyway, I should get back to homework and stop procrastinating... I'll keep posting and such a lot guys cause I'm getting bored too easily nowadays...

I can't tag links on my iPad built please follow me on Instagram and Twitter @karivzyl (it's the same for both) all my other links are in my last post please don't hesitate to press any of them? Thanks guys!! Enjoy your day! <3 :) xx

I'm a bit more awake now... :)

Okay, this time it's nine am and I'm a bit more awake now :) I can't exactly recall what I spoke about last to you, but I think it was the whole starting grade 10 and all those fun things? Well yes, now I have started grade 10 my teachers are awesome, my classes are awesome and art is as difficult as all hell.... Yes, I took art as one of my matric subjects, no I'm not clinically insane... I have four projects (drawings) due for 8 days time of which I have none one... But guys, seriously... Camp was insane... My group was sick, I bonded with an old friend who I honestly thought didn't want anything to do with me ever again... (thank you Hailey <3) and two other ladies that are the most genuine and sincere girls I've ever met <3 thank you!  The activities were... Well same old camp activities, brain teasers, team building etc etc but there was something so special about this camp that I can't even begin to explain, the way we've matured as a grade and the way suddenly it's like we're human, not some insistently whiney brats and they actually treated us like that for once, suddenly people of a "higher social standing" can speak to you, sit with you, and be friendly towards you when previously it was the most "clickey" grade but also one of the closest in a strange way... Anyway, here's to grade 10 and a year filled with good things :)


GUYS OMG IPAD... My mommy and my daddy got one for me for my birthday/Christmas (because they're so close together) and they did the same for my sister and it's amazing and I love it!!!!! Instagram is the best invention ever! I haven't posted much but please do check me out I WILL be posting a lot and I will undeniable follow you all back! My homepage is pretty boring, I gotta make things more exciting! All the same old links then guys
Twitter : Click here please :)
Facebook :  Add me as a friend if you want :)
I can't remember my tumblr password so I can't access it right now but I will definitely give you guys the link as soon as I've sorted it out! On all of these things I'll follow you back/friend you etc :) please don't be shy to comment or click that follow button please :) have a super day guys <3 xxx